As human-beings, one of the greatest blessings we’ve inherited is the gift of language.
What’s even more fascinating is how we have the capacity to create an art of love, peace, and even conflict by the sheer choice of words we get to pick in our everyday expressions.
With words, we also possess the power to create infinite versions of reality.
This is especially true in our relationships.
In that spirit, I would like to introduce a language called the Magic of Three A’s which is something I often incorporate in my work with couples as a transformative and restorative agent of healing.
1. Appreciation:
It almost sounds like a cliche when the word “gratitude” or “appreciation” is mentioned.
Sometimes, it even sounds banal without any meaningful intent.
Nonetheless, words of appreciation must not be underestimated in terms of their potency in reviving the connection between people.
The caveat here is to always personalize our appreciation especially when extending it to those that matter to us.
There’s nothing more dejecting than hearing some quick superficial words of appreciation from those who have personal stake in us.
Take time to be thoughtful with your words to convey the depth of your sentiments.
2. Acknowledgement:
This can be another form of appreciation except in greater empathy and compassion.
When we acknowledge, we are also validating in an affirming way.
Acknowledging means we are invested in each other’s subjective realities and experiences.
This goes a long way because it helps our partners, friends, and loved ones to feel heard and understood.
3. Acceptance:
Unconditional regard is one of the quintessential elements of acceptance.
Accepting means we are able to respect one another as a whole being irrespective of our differences, disagreements, and even dislikes.
When we accept, we are recognizing that our sense of individuality is to be expressed freely and openly in a safe milieu of trust in one another.
This is probably the sine qua non for a healthy relationship and one that could never be compromised if we were to stay meaningfully connected.
Like with any new skills, it’s not going to be easy to learn or master this new language.
But don’t give up yet.
Consistency is key and I promise we will get better over time.
And remember – If we were to reap maximum benefits from this new language of harmony, daily and proactive practice is the only way!
